


Ghosts

by Dragestil



Series: Bows and Bullets [10]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 19:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragestil/pseuds/Dragestil
Summary: Hanzo can't seem to escape the ghosts of his past.





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> To see more of my work or to request a fic, please check out my [Tumblr](http://dragestil.tumblr.com)

The room was dark and warm. The ceiling fan lazily spun around and around, serving more to rotate the humid air than to cool it. The door to the balcony was slightly ajar, and the chirping of crickets and humming of cicadas floated inside. After a long mission, a quiet night at a nice hotel was the perfect way to relax. Jesse and Hanzo had both fallen asleep nearly as soon as their heads hit their pillows. But Hanzo was beginning to stir, shifting beneath the covers and grasping tightly at the sheet. He tossed and turned as his dreams fought to slip into reality.

“No! Genji!” he shouted suddenly, sitting upright with a start as he looked rapidly around to figure out his surroundings. He exhaled heavily as he realised it was only another nightmare.

Hanzo slipped silently from the bed, looking back only to make sure he hadn’t woken up Jesse. He was glad his partner was a heavy sleeper. He padded to the bathroom and shut the door as carefully as possible to avoid making any more noise. When he was certain he was alone in the dark, he let himself fall apart. His back slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, knees close to his chest. He took shaking breaths as tears left streaks down his cheeks. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, clenching tight enough he could feel his nails digging into his palms. At least it was something he could feel, he thought.

His chest shook with his noiseless sobs. His head hurt from the tension and the pressure and the weight of it all. He felt simultaneously like he was sinking down into the depths of the earth and disappearing into the aether. He wasn’t sure which feeling he would have preferred winning. He pressed the back of his head against the door as he struggled to find solid ground. It was just a nightmare. It wasn’t the first and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. Why did he have to let them get to him still? A gentle knock on the door shook him from his thoughts.

“You alright, Han?” Jesse said, voice heavy with sleep and muffled by what sounded like a yawn.

“I’m…” Hanzo trailed off. He wanted to say he was fine. He wanted to shrug this off. He wanted to be able to pretend even for just a moment that these awful dreams didn’t leave him sweating with his heart pounding and thoughts racing. But Jesse would know. Jesse always knew.

“Can I come in?” Jesse asked after a moment of silence passed between them.

Hanzo shifted wearily away from the door, turning so his back was against the wall. “Yeah. You can come in,” he answered as he tried to wipe the obvious signs of crying from his face.

“Bad dreams again?” Jesse murmured as he shuffled into the bathroom and sunk down to crouch in front of Hanzo. “You don’t gotta face ‘em alone, y’know? You can wake me up any time.”

“There is no point. They are only dreams. And you need your sleep. You don’t get enough anyway.”

“Han,” Jesse sighed, reaching forward to cup Hanzo’s cheek in one hand. “You been through a lot, partner, and you don’t gotta do that all on your own. Sure they’re only dreams, but they come from real shit. And they make you feel real shit. I’m...I want to help you however I can, but I can’t if you don’t let me in.”

“I dreamed I was in Hanamura. It was the day Genji returned. I didn’t listen to him. I didn’t even give him the chance to speak. I killed him. I killed him _again_.”

“Hanzo, you didn’t. And I don’t think you even would. What you did back then...you wouldn’t do that again. That’s not the Hanzo I know. You made a mistake - a big one admittedly - but you regret that choice and have spent how long now trying to atone for it? Even Genji has forgiven you, but you still haven’t forgiven yourself. I know it’s hard - I can’t even imagine _how_ hard - but the past is the past.”

Hanzo sighed heavily, leaning forward slightly into the warmth of Jesse’s hand. He knew Jesse was right. He knew he needed to if not let go of his past then at least forgive himself for what he had done. He was not the young Hanzo Shimada who almost succeeded in killing his brother. He was not even the Hanzo Shimada who had disparaged his reinvigorated brother’s call for change.

“Let’s go back to bed, Han. This bathroom’s not really the comfiest place to sit,” Jesse suggested as he slowly stood back up, offering Hanzo his hand.

Hanzo nodded and accepted the hand, pulling himself to his feet and following wordlessly as Jesse led him back to the bed. They both sat down on the edge and Jesse slid an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders, pulling him close. Their heads rested against each other as Hanzo tried to slow his still racing heart.

“You’re a good man, Hanzo. Whoever you were, whatever you did, those things don’t define you now. The Hanzo I know would give everything to change the past, to make up for what he did wrong. The Hanzo I know is _still_ trying to make up for those things. You’ve changed. You’ve grown. You gotta be kinder to yourself, love. You’ll tear yourself apart otherwise.”

Hanzo didn’t answer. He settled his head on Jesse’s shoulder and closed his eyes, focusing on the warmth of Jesse’s body and his own breathing. His chest still ached. He could still see Genji’s lifeless body in his mind’s eye. His fingers tightened where they rested on his knee until Jesse’s calloused hand fell over them and encouraged them to lay flat.

“I love you, Han, no ifs, ands, or buts. And I’m gonna be here for you as long as you’ll have me. So just...let me help, okay? You don’t gotta fight alone anymore. Even if what you’re fighting is yourself. I’m here. I’m always here,” Jesse breathed.

“We should go back to sleep,” Hanzo murmured after a pause. “It’s late.”

“You’re right about that.”

“Could you…” Hanzo trailed off, chewing the inside of his lip. “Just...stay close? I am...safer when you are near.”

“I’ll keep the ghosts away all night, Hanzo. You don’t even need to ask.”

Jesse scooted back onto the bed and slid beneath the sheet before patting the space beside him. Hanzo shifted into place on his side and couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh as Jesse’s fuzzy chest pressed up against his bare back. Jesse’s arm curled protectively around his waist and a sleepy kiss was pressed just behind his ear.

“I’ll keep you safe as long as I can, sugar,” Jesse whispered.

“Thank you, Jesse. I love you.”


End file.
